Halloween, Wilderness Press

The Scariest Things That Can Happen on a Hike

Halloween is here! If you frighten easily, that means all the ghosts and goblins will soon disappear for another year.

Or will they? Every day can be Halloween in the woods if you encounter some of these terrifying tricks on the trail.

Lose cell phone service

You get very few scare points for this one, if we’re being honest. You went into the wilderness. What did you expect? And presumably you went out into the wilderness in hopes of decompressing from life, in which case a lack of cell phone service is ideal here. We just hope you have a map of guidebook with you…

Get lost

Oh darn! You were having so much fun that you stopped paying attention to your surroundings and got off trail. It’s a good thing you have a cell phone with GPS! No cell service? It’s a good thing you have a cell phone with a pre-downloaded map! No? It’s a good thing you have a guidebook! No guidebook because you didn’t want the extra weight? It’s a good thing you have a paper map! You didn’t even bring a map? Your lack of planning is the scariest thing here!

See a snake

Come on, that’s not scary at all! It’s just a little nope rope! It won’t…oh, it’s poisonous? And ready to strike? And 8 feet long? You now have permission to pee your pants a little, give the snake wide berth on the trail, and walk away quickly.

See a big, scary, wild animal

Is it a bear, moose, mountain lion, mountain goat, or Sasquatch? Your fear is legitimate. Big animals are scary. Big, human-eating animals are very scary. Hopefully you have studied up on animal attacks and can remember whether you should run/fight/act brave/play dead/send your goodbye texts.

Come across an abandoned cabin

This could be nothing but an old building you can take shelter in on a cold night. Or it could be the home of the Blair Witch. Or haunted by ghosts. Enter at your own risk.

Run out of snacks

AGH! That’s truly terrifying! How will you go on? What will you do for calories? Not to sound alarmist, but now may be the time to size up your group and determine who tastes best…

Happy Halloween!

Tanya Twerdowsky

I am a Jersey girl living in Alabama who loves to run far and eat lots.

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